The Hayseed Bowl

“When is there going to be a Hayseed Bowl?” I asked Hubby yesterday. He’s been watching a lot of bowl games. He agreed that, once we’re zillionaires, we will indeed sponsor the Hayseed Bowl.

I’ve already jotted down a few ideas.

Naturally, the parade will feature a lot of horses and horse-drawn vehicles, vintage tractors and trucks, blue heelers and Border collies, rodeo clowns, and floats showcasing all aspects of agriculture: food crop, livestock, lumber, and biofuel production—even goat herding. Pam Minic and Orion Samuelson will host.

Baxter Black will entertain during the pre-game show, and Jimmy Fortune will sing The Star Spangled Banner. Justin McKee will join the play callers in the announcer’s booth. At halftime, the crowd will be awed by cowdog and sheepdog demonstrations, and then Joey and Rory will perform while the field is cleaned up.

All 4-H leaders, FFA sponsors, clergy, and military personnel will get free tickets to the big game.

Instead of beer, car, and insurance commercials, television audiences will view brief profiles of unsung Hayseed Heroes such as tree planters, no-till farmers, cow and sheep midwives, therapeutic riding volunteers, composters, veterinarians, drought battlers, wildfire fighters, range managers, horse rescuers, landowner association founders, Invest An Acre donors, and, last but not least, tractor-implement repairmen.

The coveted silver trophy won’t actually be a bowl but a bucket.

 

“If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand.” –MATTHEW 5:15