2. Open skinny parcel labelled "Live Trees" ordered from catalog. Unpack scrawny rooted apple-sticks.
3. Plant apple-sticks. Water generously and regularly.
4. Pound posts into ground beside each apple-stick; attach tree "cages" to protect apple-sticks from greedy deer, rabbits, cows, horses.
5. Build fence around orchard. Repair fence once or twice a year when cows damage it.
6. Irrigate and occasionally prune apple-stick-trees for 6 years and 5 months.
7. Pick apples and make pie!