Chasing Greens

My back aches, my elbow is sore, my shoulders are stiff, and my legs are tired. No, I haven’t been wrestling irrigation pipe—not for a few days, anyway. Rather, I took a few hours off to go golfing with my neighbor, Susie.

Golf is one of those sports that’s much harder than it appears. For some reason, I can hit a moving tennis ball with a lot more accuracy than I can a golf ball that’s just sitting motionless on the ground. I was hoping for a completely abandoned golf course, with no one around to see how poorly I play, but, alas, the weather was fine, and even my farmer neighbors were out playing.

Our golf course is beautifully tended but kind of creepy. When was struggling up the fairway, the flags and greens kept moving further and further away. I can’t explain how they did so, as it only happened when I was looking down at the ball. I think Hole 16 was Par Infinity. But I still got a bogey.

Thankfully, my short game was a bit more respectable, and I even nailed a decent putt on the last hole. I must not have embarrassed Susie too badly, since she asked me to play again. As soon as my back, elbow, and shoulders heal up, I probably will. Maybe, with more practice, I can catch up to those greens quicker.