Circumstantial Evidence

I’ve been a goat owner for seven months now. For six months and 29 days, my sweet Blueberry and Meels have had me wrapped around their proverbial little fingers.  Hubby calls them Their Majesties, the Princesses of Spoilsville, because of all the time and effort I put in to ensure their welfare and happiness, not to mention the money and exertion that we’ve invested in their accommodations! In my and the goaties’ defense, I present the following evidence:

·         My Nigerians love to give and receive affection. Even when let out of their pen to graze, they want to exchange pets, kisses, and tail wags with me before they eat. Our horses enjoy strokes and hugs, but only when their appetites are satisfied and they have nothing better to do.

·         The twins truly prefer human company. Given their freedom, they putter around somewhere near their people, although they’ll hang out with the horses or cows if we’re unavailable. The little dears love to “help” me do chores or accompany me for walks—no lead rope needed—and have been lobbying for admittance into the house.

·         Goaties make for great merriment. On excursions, the twins play their preferred game, Hi-Ho Silver, in which they hang back and dilly-dally before breaking into a clattering gallop as they race each other to catch up. Other favorites include Queen-of-the-Hill (pushing each other of the top of a hill, table or ATV), Lion-and-Wolf Wars (pretending to stick the cat and dog with their pretend horns), and Bighorn Sheep (leaping, charging and butting heads with one another just like bighorn rams, albeit with mock force).

·         The caprines are less devoted to terra firma than bovines or equines. (How many cattle or horses have you seen up in a tree?) Of the two, Meels (short for “Amelia Earhart”) pays the least attention to gravity; her motto is The sky’s the limit, and her favorite napping spot is the sunroof on my Escape.

·         The darlings have the gift of gab. Whenever they see or hear me, they seek to engage me in their nasally chatter. Such conversation usually falls into the category of Requests and Reminders (“I felt a raindrop—can we go in the barn?” “Can we come too?” “It’s time for supper.”) Most other remarks can be filed under the heading of Announcements (“Hey, we’re over here.” “We like these leaves.” “You’re our best friend.”)

If one takes into account all amusement delivered and smiles rendered, one must conclude that I am completely justified in spoiling, indulging, and fussing over Blueberry and Meels. Case dismissed.

“He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and

carries them close to His heart.” Isaiah 40:11